| here are a few notes i wrote to you in the past... ones i intentionally did not show you:
hmmm...im pondering. can you tell? well, i suppose i should say this...but how? hmm...[ponders again]ok. here we go. i want you...a lot. hmm...so yeah. [insert daydreamsequence #14]well, im gonna stop writing about this. infact, im gonna stop writing all together.
-ed.
hmm...im sad. because you are not here. and wouldnt you know it, i woke up early & did my hair & made myself pretty today. gawd...why are you not here? WHY FOR?! gah! i wanted to talk to you today. gawd, im such a loser. im looking out into the hallway just waiting for you to show up. just to come in late. but not such luck yet. and that does not make me happy. yeah, well, you may not be here but i still feel pretty today. wee...! i feel pretty. o so pretty. ok, im gonna stop singing now... GAH! i hope you show up sometime today. because...yeah. because i wanna...talk...to you. heh. heh. heheh. talk. yep. thats it. just talk. well, im gonna go & sleep now.
-ed.
yaya! there you are! & i just now left my last writing.
-ed.
you know what? sometimes i just dont get you. youll be all hovering over me one minute & the next youll be too distracted to know that i even exist. distracted by...***. and that bothers me. because i want you...i want you to want me. do you? because really what i want is for you to hold me...among other things. heh. so it you dont want me, make sure that i know. or else ill just keep going after you. but please, gawd, please, want me. it would make me really smiley. heh, like this:>.<weeeeeee! see, just like that.
-ed.
well, i talked to you a lot this weekend. it was fun. you made me smile & giggle & all that happy horse shit a lot. just thinking about it makes me happy. just thinking about YOU makes me happy. heh, you just said some thing funny. heh, you just got yelled at by the teacher to stop sharpening your pencil. youre not standing next to me anymore. you went back to your seat. stupid teacher make you leave my side. i truly hate that bitch. theres just something about you that makes me go all CRAZY! you know? i go now.
-ed.
gawd, you are soo confusing! if you want me then say it. i want you & i already told you that. so if you want me you should say so. and if not then tell me that you dont then. because i dont want to waste my time going after you. you know? but...i really do want you. the feel of your touch just makes my heart skip a beat...or two...or a few. you know? i dont know it you do... if you do know what it feels like to me touched by the one you love[...or in this case, like? do you?]...if you do...is it because of me? do you feel that way about me? or do you feel that way about someone else? is it ***? are you just leading me on? please dont lead me on. i need someone. i want you to be that someone. if you dont want to be that someone, dont lead me to beleive that you do. just tell me how you feel about me. gawd, im going crazy. im acting crazy. its just a crush...im going over board.
-ed.
we hugged today. for a long time. maybe even a hole ten seconds. thats a loooong time when its all youre thinking about. and you are all ive been thinking about lately. well, you and the SHIT thats going on with pip. but mostly you. i want to kiss you. do you kiss well? i hope so. good kissers tend to be really sweet & devoted. but i dont know. i just know that i want you. today you poked me & walked away.it made me smile. i dont know why?! but it did. and im glad it did. i like you. and i like smiling.
-ed.
you know, now i know if you are a good kisser or not. and you know what...? you are. i wish you would kiss me again. |
